My Christmas

Aha..after many Christmas celebrations come ‘n go. d heart of Christmas finally gets real to me since last nite. Well, there’s always something special from each Christmas celebration, there were even many special things actually; d people, d decorations, ‘n stuffs, but Christmas eve was really d peak!! It’s like wat a song says "It isn’t Christmas till it happens in ur heart". And there was truly something tat touched me right in d heart frm wat Pastor Charles Lopez told us on our Christmas eve. He told us loads of great things, but I can’t tell ya d whole things he sed (I cud av been  a priest if i cud do so:) So, tis is what my poor memory can rememba.
’twas d story he told us tat’s really attached to my mind,,it’s my most fav part^^
He told us a story of a FLY on an airplane. Here’s d short version of it (d original version is a lot better ‘n funnier than tis:( to anyone who attended da same church wif me last nite pls add..). Shortly, there was a passenger on an airplane. He sat on his chair, wear his seatbelt, n enjoyed his flight..until..there was somethin tat’s rily annoyed him. It was a STRANGE FLY, who KEPT FLYIN’ over here and there on a FLYIN’  AIRPLANE. Wen d passenger juz couldn’t take it any longer, he called d fly to come to him ‘n asked him a question, "Strange Fly, why d’u seem so busy flyin on an aeroplane tat’s already flyin? Why don’t you just sit back and relax??" D strange fly then replied "I have to keep flying b’cuz tis plane would also stop flyin if I stop movin my wings."
"What d’u mean?" the man sed.
"It is my wings tat makes this big plane flyin. tis plane wud fall if I stop flyin" replied d strange fly who then flew to another spot on d plane ‘n left the man  alone.
After around 15 minutes l8er the strange fly came back to tat man and sed "I’m tired of flying. I don’t have any strength left to fly anymore. What should I do?"
The man replied, "Go to the cockpit ‘n you’ll find d answer."
d strange fly did wat the man told him to do. he went to the cockpit ‘n saw a man there. he asked "Sir, what r you doing here?"
"I am driving this plane. I have to make sure that all the passengers here arrive to their destination." answered that man. That strange fly still hadn’t get d answer tat he came back to d first man, "I still haven’t got d answer. Tell me, what should I do?"
The man answered "Look out!! You see those big wigs out there? Those are d wings that keep this plane flying. Have you  met the man in the cockpit?"
"Yes, I have. But who is him?"
"He is d pilot of this plane. He is d man who drives this plane and make sure that all of us will get to our destination. So, now what r you doing?  All you have to do now is to sit back and enjoy the flight!"
tat simple story has really touched me in d heart. It reminds us tat our life is actually not our project, it’s our Creator’s project. And as He has come to Mary through the baby Jesus, He has also come to each of us,,to be the pilot of our plane no matter how bad d circumstances we av ‘n bring us to the destination He has set for us. And tat the same as Mary, we also have one duty. It’s to say "Let it be to me as You said.(",)
Merry X-mas everyone ‘n happy holidays too!!!

Me, OuT oF MisT,,v(”,)

"Wherever you go, go wif all your heart,,^.^"
–Confucius

Some songs and sayings say that Monday is the worst day of all. Juz mention "Manic Monday", a song from the 80es, which calls that day as a ‘runday’. Most people hate Monday cuz agen they’ve to face the hard life at work or school after they had a great time off on a shiny-Sunday. Monday is quite tough for me, but Wednesday is even worse:<

I thougt this Wednesday would stiLL be as worse as any other Wednesdays I had or even worse ‘cuz I got soo many things to deal wif. buT I was so wrong! It’s still a runday for me but I didn’t think if everyhing would go juz fine.
da first thing made me thought that ystrday would be a disaster was that I had to be in class very early in d morning, while there was a deadline for my assingment ‘n I hadn’t finished it tat morning of d D-day:D Umm..it was a group assignement actually,,and each group should be consist of only 2 people. What happened was tat both I and my friend claimed that we’re B.U.S.Y. that  none of us managed to finish it. I was nearly hopeless when I realised tat I only had an hour for break before I got to go for tutoring ‘n it was even worse wif m’fren since she had no time at all for break. Desperately, I decided to use tat only one hour to finish my task ‘n thankfully I could finish it on time wif my loyal bestfren beside me ‘n kept supporting me by sayin "hepsi, u  gotta do it really quick or else I’d leave u." hahaha…quite selfish but it works! Thx, DoM!!!
Another problem, was tat I did not prepare any new materials for tutoring. huhuhu…in that kind of situation I used to be panic, buT yesterday was an exeption. I felt really OK n I even spent a few minutes to see some books before I went tutoring and omG I never thought tat I’d find a booK tat’s soo me,,i’ts juz soo match wif da problem I’ve been strugglin wif for soo long. I’ve been expecting to find such book but I didn’t knw any. t’was such a big surprise to accidentally find it! wat a Wednesday!
Now move on to another good thing. I and m’student Zara no longer have awkward silence:) We have better tutor-student relationship since her b’day. she seemed to be quite touched wen I gave er a b’day gift cuz her boyfrnd didn’t even greet er a "happy b’day!" and they finally broke up cuz she thinks tat Jason’s a person who’s so full of himself. Her mom actually did give her 2 rings as gift but she never wears it cuz she sed it’d make her look as if she’s engaged. m’gift was not even better than her mom’s I’m sure, but a sweeT thing, she gave me a hug of thx then. I also finally get used to her english ‘n found out tat we have some similar interests tat we could ave a fun conversation.
Zara’s mom and dad were apparently still in england tat there was nobody supervising me tat day which also means tat "No working under pressure for today!!". hohoho..we only browsed some pics of Tokyo for her Geo homework then we spent 2.5 hours more for editing her profile on Bebo and doing some silly tests on Facebook. We got a real nice song by Colbie Caillat titled "Bubbly" for her profile on Bebo. dat song was new to our ears but it juz catched on to us very quickly.  On the facebook test she got some new names like Z Detective for her detective name, Princess Berlian for her popular name (sounds awkward to me), n Captain Freedom for her heroic name (I was muchly inspired by Braveheart wen I told er to choose ‘Freedom’ for the most patriotic word firstly comes to mind. It’s still d best movie eva!! ‘n t’was the most touching part wen William Wallace sed "Freedom" at d end of his life, before he was hanged ‘n quartered. huhuhu..it was rily sad:(.
soo..tht’s juz how my wednesday turned to be well. I finally enjoy things I’ve to do at least for tat day. bUt d heart of my problem stays still. It’s tat I feel tat I haven’t found sUmthin m’heart rily2 wants to do n I need to find out wat it is.
Thankfully tat book I’ve juz bought could give me some poiters to get me out of this mist.  It says I need to do suMthin match wif the values I have, nOt only wat others told me to do. Hmm,,it reminds me to a test I had done in d short term of sKuL of Ministry. d result was tat I’m poorest in teaching ‘n my second worst score was in leadership (hohoho..I knew it:D), my best score was for d gift of compassion (dunno d accuracy of d test). soo,,tat sumthin I’m lookin forward to do can’t be about teaching or leading. might be something humanitarian. as I n m’fren have passed d sKuL of ministry then nOw we’re considering to join Community Based Unit for next year, where people serve to help d HIV-infected people  and d drugs addicts. sounds great bUt I’m not sure I can, yet I doubt if I’d pass the 3 months of trials where we have to attend our church an hour before at 6 in d morning cuz tat’s wen d first sermon starts. I’d choose to stay longer under my warm blanket rather than waking up tat early. tat would be sooo hard. Mrs.Minamoto, my lecturer for American studies also told us tat sucH community service are highly appreciated in the US. we can get certificate for doing such citizen duty n it’d be very valuable when we aplly for job. but tat’s in America:D But I’ll consider it still, esp. after I read tis from Leo Buscaglia:
"Man has not yet learned to work for the joy of work, learn for the sake
of growth, create for the expression and the exaltation in the act, or
to love simply for the pleasure of loving: he still requires a reward.
Until a man learns to do these things, hope will have to be his basic
motivating force. In work, he’ll require more wages and better titles;
in knowledge, he’ll require degrees and diplomas; in creativity, he’ll
require recognition; in love, he’ll require assurance. Until he
appreciates that each of these are their own reward, he’ll need hope as
his crutch. There is nothing wrong with hope; it is simply the second
best thing. For love goes beyond hope. Hope is a beginning. Love is forever."
Hmm..it’s true a saying tells if the heart of a problem is the problem of heart.

Viggo, Viggo, and Viggo…

“You can look at life as a poem, a story, and you can see yourself… In
moments like that, you find not only lessons for your own life, but you
find something beautiful in ordinary life, something that links you to
the past and to the future.”

–Viggo Mortensen

An impressive thought, isn’t it?

I was actually trying to look for an article about Orlando Bloom when I checked some of my old magazines. I think I’ve lost it, but the good news is that I found a better one. I never really admired the real man behind Aragorn figure until I read that article.

Surprising facts about Viggo Mortensen (well, at least for me):

1. He was born in 1958, which means that he’s almost 50 year old. (Gosh..I thought he was only about 30 something!!)
2. He writes poetry and also an author of the book Recent  Forgeries. (never thought that he could even write a novel)
3. He is a jazz musician with 3 CDs he has released so far. (hmm..never heard any of his songs. I’m kinda curious about it.)
4. Ouw..yea, he’s also a creator of photographs and paintings too! (what a multi-talented person)
   
5. Before he became a successful actor, he has experienced working as flowers seller. (ooh..sweet..)
6. Worked as a truck driver while living in Denmark.
   
7. There’s something to LOTR that speaks to the poet in Mortensen’s soul louder than the grand spectacle and the almighty punch-ups. It has, he feels, a powerful lesson to teach us, and one that is particularly present at this time.  He says: "There’s a  tendency in America  to say this is good and this is evil and I shall do something about it." It isn’t that simple Tolkien has Gandalf say, I think in d 1st book, something to the effect
   that nothing was evil and in the beginning; Sauron was not always so. Aragorn says to Legolas at one point, "Good and evil has not changed since yesteryear, and nor are they one thing among dwarves and elves." Something I found interesting is that even though Tolkien was a devout Christian, the books don’t assert that there is heavenly reward for doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is it’s own reward." (hmm..again I have to say: "Impressive!!")
8. He is a committed parent and has evidently managed to stay clear of the drugs and other scandals so common in Hollywood. (that’s one in a million)
   

Here are some of his pics:

lotr aragorn

Viggo ‘n his ex.wife Exene from d movie salvation

Viggo’s beloved son, Henry Mortensen in Gondor

Quotes by Viggo from interviews and articles: 

"As a kid, you fantasize about all the
adventures you’re going to have. You imagine yourself exploring the
world, and you wonder if you really can. Most people, after a while,
sort of repress that desire and instead they just live inside a box and
never attempt it. But I wanted adventure–and I know that life is
short. So I tried to do a lot of things."

As quoted by Dotson Rader in Parade magazine, "I Still Ask Why"
February 29, 2004

"I knew early on that life is sorrowful. We
all decline, slowly or quickly, and we die. We can’t change that. But
we can change our attitude toward it.


"We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more
with it–pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we
have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really
is."

As quoted by Dotson Rader in Parade magazine, "I Still Ask Why"
February 29, 2004

"Joseph Campbell said the privilege of a lifetime is being yourself. That’s his feeling. And I guess it’s mine too."

As quoted by Alex Kuczynski in Vanity Fair, "Finding Viggo"
January 1, 2004

On religion: "My answer would be what
Walt Whitman said in Leaves of Grass, something to the effect of ‘I
hear and behold that God is in every object and yet I understand God
not at all.’"

As quoted by Alex Kuczynski in Vanity Fair, "Finding Viggo"
January 1, 2004

"There’s no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there is no excuse for boredom, ever.


"Of course, Henry says, ‘Yeah, well, Dad, if you were in my science
class you’d know what it is to be bored.’ I guess that’s something a
little different."

As quoted by Alex Kuczynski in Vanity Fair, "Finding Viggo"
January 1, 2004

"We all experience many freakish and
unexpected events - you have to be open to suffering a little. The
philosopher Schopenhauer talked about how out of the randomness, there
is an apparent intention in the fate of an individual that can be
glimpsed later on. When you are an old guy, you can look back, and
maybe this rambling life has some through-line. Others can see it
better sometimes. But when you glimpse it yourself, you see it more
clearly than anyone."

As quoted by Tom Roston, The Mail on Sunday, "The King returns"
December 1, 2003

What do you think makes you sexy?
"I don’t really know how to deal with that question. I’m sure that there’s just as many people who think I’m a grizzled hack."

As quoted by Tom Roston, The Mail on Sunday, "The King returns"
December 1, 2003

"I have never been in a natural place and felt
that that was a waste of time. I never have. And it’s a relief. If I’m
walking around a desert or whatever, every second is worthwhile."

Interview by Ariel Leve, The Sunday Times, "The Brain Dane"
November 30, 2003

"I have friends who I get along with who I
know get very uncomfortable being alone, unless they’re with people,
talking all the time. Whether it’s on the phone, or in person, they’re
never by themselves. Whereas I could be alone for months."

Interview by Ariel Leve, The Sunday Times, "The Brain Dane"
November 30, 2003

"If I can get a day to myself, I won’t answer
the phone, I’ll read or go for a walk. Simple, basic things. People
think there’s always time to do that but there isn’t. Life is short."

Interview by Ariel Leve, The Sunday Times, "The Brain Dane"
November 30, 2003

"I’m not that involved in personal grooming. But I try not to be offensive to people."

As quoted by Allison Glock, GQ, "Twenty-one Reasons to Dig Viggo Mortensen"
November 1, 2003

"If I don’t get a little time by myself every day, it makes me uncomfortable. I really need that. Even if it’s a minute or two."

As quoted in Variety Life, "Viggo Mortensen"
October 1, 2003

"I think it was Robert Louis Stevenson who
said this. It was about meandering through a career, or the arts in
general, without seeming to have a deliberate plan. He said, ‘To travel
hopefully is better than to arrive, and the true success is in the
labor.’ That’s a great line, ‘To travel hopefully.’ That’s what I’d
like to do."

As quoted in Variety Life, "Viggo Mortensen"
October 1, 2003

"Rabbits sometimes run out in front of your
car, right? Well, I hit this rabbit on this lonely road in the South
Island and I wanted to make sure it was dead. If it wasn’t, I’d put it
out of its misery. And it was quite dead, so I thought, ‘Well, why
waste it?’ And so I made a little fire and ate it.


"It was fresh. That, I knew."

As quoted by Tom Roston in Premiere, "The Hero Returns"
January 1, 2003

wondering does he have any blog on uk’s bloggerspot that I can add him 2 my account^^ I’ll check out later. Hope I’d find it..

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature’s first green is gold,    

Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost-

Spent my days in hospital on the first week of my holiday, since my 94 years old  grandpa is no longer healthy. From the x-ray photograph, we found out that our grandpa now has only one side of his lung left. He has to endure great pain even just for breathing, sumthin’ people rarely thankful of when they’re healthy. It’s even painful enough to hear his screams sometimes when he just cannot endure his pain anymore. Sat on a chair next to his bed, there’s nothing I could do to reduce his pain, but just prayin’.
It all reminds me to Robert Frost’s ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’ that there’s nothing in the world can last forever, that just like the fresh leaf which as time goes by fades away and turn into a dead leaf, each of us will finally come to that point as well.
That image does not scare me actually. What actually bothers me about my grandpa’s a single question whether he has believed in Our Lord’s salvation or not. That he’d be saved by grace and get the gift of eternal life.

A Downfall and A Time-Question

"Why do we have to fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
(Batman Begins)
A slight of memory reminds me to an image of my past. I was in my brother’s room, watching the movie "Batman Begins", when my brother, who had watched it earlier interrupted, telling me how he loved the message conveyed in it.
It was around a year ago when I still stayed with my family, when I hadn’t gone to a college which seperates us loads of miles away…
I used to have them telling me the do’s and don’ts, reminding me if I do something wrong. Now, many steps I’ve to take without them by my side. Some are great ‘n some aren’t..
One decision has led me to a downfall and I don’t have their shoulders to cry on. But still a hand from above holding me tight that I’m not fall.
I’m tryin’ hard to pick myself up. But it’s really not that easy that sometimes I’m drifted by doubt for believing I am weak.
Will I be able of picking myself up from this situation and stand up proud finally?
A question which answer I’ll see myself as time goes by..
While I won’t give the decision I’ve made any regret ‘cuz I’ve learned many things through it and from the scars I’d always remember those lessons I’ve learned..

A Feather in Spiderman’s Cap!!

Decided to watch  "Spiderman 3" this morning soon after I and 2 of m’friends finished our class. A pay back after yesterday we spent our days doing many assignments and esp a pay back after yesterday I had to spend my hours accompanied only by froggy (my green-frog-doll given by my guardian angel. should thank my GA 4 giving me that gift, which is really helpful to break the silence in my room with its frog sound)
Hmm..a feather in Spiderman’s cap!!
What makes "Spiderman 3" a worth-seeing movie??
1. James Franco is really worth-seing!!
2. James Franco’s great act!!
3. James Franco’s heroic act on that movie!!
Hahaha..those r true. However, if those reasons aren’t enough for u to say that "Spiderman 3" is a good movie, then I still have some reasons for u.
"Spiderman 3" conveys loads of great messages:
1. It teches us abOut how great friendship is: how a good friend even gives his life to save the life of his friend as Harry did to save the life of Peter Parker. Therefore, I’d like to thank every friend I have for I can feel friendship in m’life^^
2. That life is about choices. That each of us is given the right to choose in life. It’s the choice that makes us who we are and we can always choose to do what’s right.
3. Forgiveness. How revenge only worsens everythin’ and how everythin’ can only get right by forgiveness.
Any of you have another comment 4 this movie??

Big Little Things..

Little things is like the stars seen from the Earth’s surface..
I never really believed that having small things well-done can make me happy. Maybe I watched superheroes movies too much in my childhood that I became obsessed with big things. Well, I don’t deny that think big and do something that can make big impact is great. My fault was juz that I didn’t put any attention to small matters that they kept haunting me in my sleeps and woke me up with guilty feeling every morning.
Lately, I’ve juz realized how I’ve been so unfaithful in small things. It’s been a long struggle 4 me to be more faithfull in little things.  I’m so happy that today I can win my battle.  I get a responsibility to be the organizer for the property and decoration of my speaking class project, whereas I’m actually not an expert in it (it can even be seen from how my room is often left abandoned b’coz I preffered to do things I think is bigger..hehehe). I was actually dissapointed with myself that I have left many things abandoned. I believe it is not a coincidence that I have to be in charge for it. I realize that now I am being taught to  be more faithfull in little things.
Last night, I and one of my partners crammed to make the decoration design and some simulation of it before we should give final report to our lecturer this morning. Really glad that we did it well!! That simple thing somehow brighten up my day=)
I’ve juz also learned that simple things done with might and sincierity can brighten up others’ day too. Just a simple "How’s your day?" question can even be a big help for a friend in need.
Yup..small things in our eyes are as worthy as big things in our Master’s eyes. Dunno how would I be on the next page of m’life..
Will I do whatever my hands find to do with my might?
Well, that would be a day-to-day struggle..

Half-Sleep-and-Awake

Fyuh..I feel like m’head is full of heavy loads..
there r juz sooo.. many things that I have to do  this week..
it’s all b’coz of my ’skipping habit’
something that I’ve juz realized!
I really regret that I used to do things I LIKE to do rather than doing things that I HAVE to do
I thought I live such a peaceful life..
It wasn’t completely true..

I’ve been half-sleep-and-awake.
I’ve juz realised that my phlegmatic side has made me runaway from  doing things I should have done before..
God,,I’ve took a part of m’life 4 granted..
That’s one thing I regret da most!
Now there’s a price that I have to pay..
Have to squash my brain tis week to finish all of those tasks I’ve skipped before..
I’ve probably left my left brain somewhere that I’ve lost my ability to organize things
Talking about losing my left brain, it’s probably true remembering that Phonology is a very difficult subject 4 me or is it juz b’coz of my lazyness in studying phonology??
Hmm..both r true I guess..
Ooh..my left brain where r thou?
Promise to be more organized from now on @/@
To anyone..plz remind me if I don’t keep my promise!!!

Clueless..

For my Saturdays, which turn into ’shatterdays’..
For the 3 hours I’ve to pass through the heat of the sun..
All I wanted to do was saying "It’s done!"
I thought that last Saturday would be the last time I got to give extra lesson to Stephanie, since the next week she would have done her final exam. I had almost burst into tears at the last minutes of our last session.  I had even took her picture with my cell-phone camera, which could only result a blured image of her. It was so surprising when she told me that she still wanted to have extra lesson with me even after she had done with her final exam.
Don’t know whether I should be happy or sad hearing that news. On one side, I really enjoy our time together. She’s so nice and so does her family. It is also such a great pleasure to see how she gets more interested to what she learns and to see each and every improvement she makes on  it, even to the very small ones. However, on the other hand, I’m really suffered each time I’ve 2 go to her house. It is sooooo… far that it really tortures me. Saying "It’s done" will be so much relieving 4 me..
At the beginning, I decided to take a part time job ‘cuz I thought that I got to use my spare time for doing ’something’. It also reminds me to what D ever told me, that he’s glad to spend his sparetime for doing meaningful things. Otherwise, he would have got so much of his time wasted juz 4 chit-chatting with friends about  things which r actually unnecessary. Hmm..D..u’re really wise sumtime;P However, I’m juz a human who needs some time off. I miss to have a real time for break on Saturday. Now, I’m still clueless 2 decide..

So overrated!!

Sometimes
we meet someone and there is a click, a connection, a spark.  Sometimes
that connection is so strong that it pulls you together against all the
odds. -seanyp-
One of the things I really hate is to have a crush on somebody. That kind of feeling makes u don’t see things objectively! Loads of months ago I got a crush on a guy named Z, but then for a reason then I lost that feeling.
Nevertheless, that feeling seems to come up again since two days ago, when we should work together for service. I’ve just found out that our voice are just perfectly match. Therefore, I start 2 question whether I am the bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh which is very silly and overrated!! (I even laugh myself for this)
I do agree that he’s a kind-godly-brave-humorous-smart-tallented-tough kind of person. I’m wondering, am I still overrating him??
However, I’d do my best to put not more than my respect on him.
I dunno. I might be a bird who choose not to fly ‘cuz I’m affraid 2 fall..